26 Additional Uses for Your BlackBerry

Since we are all communally and hopelessly addicted to technology, everyone can agree that smartphones are useful, addictive, and not going anywhere any time soon. Except for BlackBerries. They might very well be a thing of the past! Time to flush all those BBMs down the crapper.

However, worry not! It’s not all lost. There are IRL uses for your old BlackBerry that you might not have considered!

You can use your phone to productively reconnect with the present! Here are more creative, practical uses of your formerly favorite gadget.

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26. Use it as an outdoor paperweight on a blustery day.

25. It makes for a handy doorstop.

24. Or skipping stone.

23. In the mood to hit the rink? Here’s a makeshift hockey puck.

22. Put it on your head and practice your balance.

21. Shove it under a wobbly table’s leg for stability.

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20. Tenderize a chicken breast with it for a succulent meal of pollo alla parmigiana.

19. Toss it around with your buds in a rousing game of hot potato.

18. Convince someone it’s an ancient alien codex and have ‘em try to find the precise key combo to open it.

17. Give it to your pet rock for companionship.

16. Use it as a lumpy bookmark.

15. Or as a place-saver for your tardy buddy at the ever-crowded Tender Greens.

14. It could be an additional pestle for your kitchen mortar. You can never have too many pestles.

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13. It makes a fine straightedge if you’re drafting blueprints for a summer home in sunny, coastal Dubrovnik.

12. Feeling sluggish? Use your smartphone as a weight for a very low energy workout.

11. Tap on the screen to the beat when your favorite song comes on the radio. Instant percussion! Less embarrassing than singing along.

10. Toss it at ill-meaning pigeons.

9. Eggs are overrated and your brain needs some exercise. Challenge your friends to a smartphone drop contest.

8. Conceal condoms on your nightstand beneath it.

7. When stealing something of equal weight from a museum, use it to trick the security system’s weight sensor.

6. Throw it at incoming zombies to slow them down (slightly) during the apocalypse.

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5. Get two more and enjoy some high-tech juggling.

4. Heat it up and use it as a hot stone for a relaxing, sensual massage.

3. Tie it to the end of a string to create a plumb line.

2. Rest it on your sleeping cat and see how long it takes for it to wake up and give you the evil eye.

1. Use it as a hard surface to write an actual note to one of your friends. 


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About the author

Kristen Bobst

Kristen Bobst is a grade-A comedy writer, an unstoppable sock puppeteer, and the world's foremost whimsy aficionado. She certainly believes the meaning of life really is 42; and right now Kristen is really into The Carrie Diaries. Comediva. Where the funny girls are.

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