Sometimes Game of Thrones seems like a sadistic spin-off of “Whose Wedding Is It Anyway?” with awkward engagements, forced marriages, and one game-changing Red Wedding. But in the midst of all this bridal backstabbing, here are the couples we’d really like to see hitched:
1. Tyrion and Bronn
This Sellsword may not be a sword-swallower, but Bronn has the only tongue sharp enough to match Tyrion’s wit. Tyrion and Bronn are a match made by the Seven Gods. Once marriage equality happens in Westeros, this couple should be sent down the aisle (right behind Loras and his fabulous wedding dress).
2. Lysa Arryn and Theon’s Torturer
Everyone in Westeros is a little crazy, but Lysa Arryn and Theon’s mysterious torturer are a special kind of psycho. Between their sky cells, moon doors, castration and crucifixes, these two are certain to hit it off at the next Seven Kingdoms mixer. Whether or not their combined crazies will be good for Westeros is another matter.
3. Jamie and Brienne
To Westeros, Jamie is just a Kingslayer and Brienne is merely a lady in drag, but they see the good in each other. They might simply be Lesbros for now, but maybe things will change when Jamie discovers Cersei is boinking Lancel in his absence. Deep down, Jamie and Brienne probably hoped things would get a little steamier in that hot tub. Fingers crossed that next time, Jamie won’t faint like a maiden.
4. Sansa and The Hound
Although not as explored in the series as it is in the books, Sansa and The Hound are like the “Beauty and The Beast” of George R.R. Martin, except this beast never turns into a prince, and the beauty is pretty dumb. Fans have been aching to see a little Sansa and The Hound action, so what better way than a fancy wedding?
5. Daenerys Targaryen and Jon Snow
He’s ice. She’s fire. Together, they’d make sweet, sweet music. A song of ice and fire, perhaps? Someday, the pair’s paths may cross and rule from the Iron Throne. Sure, Jon may have sworn off women and power when he took the black, but he’s already broken one oath, so what is one more? There is the pesky issue that Jon may-or-may-not be Dany’s nephew, but incest is nothing new to the Targaryens. Dragon wedding cake toppers, please!