Wednesday, September 19, 2012

A Few Underrated Space Pirates

You'll make a space-pirate yet!
Kristen Bobst Created by  Kristen Bobst  
Happy International Talk Like a Pirate Day, mateys! Pop culture is full of pirates: those dashing hunks and feisty maidens who sail the seven seas, hunt treasure, and break the hearts of landlubbers everywhere. However, not all pirates pillage Earth. Some swashbuckle amongst the stars.

Here's a list of a few lesser-known space pirates you might want to consider when planning your next interstellar vacation.

Brak from Space Ghost

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This animated super villain and space pirate might not be terribly fearsome in his current animated glory, but rest assured; he's been aiming for cosmic domination since 1966. While he might have turned into more of a talk show host and less of an evil corsair, Brak is not a space pirate you want to mess with.

Han Solo from Star Wars


Han Solo is a wildly popular character, but he is often overlooked in more pedestrian pirate roundups. Han Solo flies a ship he won in a dodgy game of chance, and is basically a space outlaw. He's not just any space pirate; he's the ultimate space pirate.

The Orions from Star Trek

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These scurvy aliens almost killed Spock when they hijacked a shipment of medicine. You know you're villainous when you threaten everyone's favorite Vulcan. If you're out and about in the galaxy, avoid these thieving alien bastards.

Auto from WALL-E

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Auto is a robot, a mutineer, and a total jerk. Triple threat.  After all, what's more piratelike than to declare mutiny on your own captain while simultaneously tasering some adorable robots? Auto is worse than Captain Hook.

Captain Shakespeare from Stardust

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Everyone knows cross-dressing pirates are to be feared most.

The Doctor from Doctor Who


Yep, another well known character, but a pirate nonetheless. He stole his ship, a hallmark of any good pirate, and basically wanders around time and space doing whatever he wants. 

Starbuck from Battlestar Galactica


Kara Thrace has all the qualities of a space pirate and then some. She's got moxie.  She's an unmatched pilot. Boy howdy, does she hate authority. Plus, Starbuck does some serious damage with that stolen Cylon Raider.  

Saffron from Firefly

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Not only is Saffron a well-endowed con artist and Mal's not-so-lovely wife, but, yep, she's a pirate. Also, technically, Reavers and the entire crew of the Serenity could probably be counted as space pirates.

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So, you like rogues.  Rogues with superpowers? check out 10 Surprising Uses for Wolverine's Claws! 

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Kristen Bobst

Kristen Bobst is Comediva's ridiculously cool Managing Editor. Among other things, she's a grade-A comedy writer, an unstoppable sock puppeteer, and the world's foremost whimsy aficionado. She certainly believes the meaning of life really is 42; and right now Kristen is really into The Carrie Diaries. 

Comediva. Where the funny girls are.

Website: www.kristeno.com/
   
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