Amanda: Okay, you three are cute, but what’s it like working with Emilia Clarke?
She is so hot.
[The dragons blow smoke and fire at me. Ha ha! Fireproof jacket!]
Amanda: Okay, I get that you are literally hotter. I’m just saying, I wouldn’t mind
perching on her shoulder.
[The dragons stare at me with giant, baby dragon eyes.]
Amanda: Don’t look at me like that.
Amanda: Seriously, you’re acting like babies. Oh, right.
So, I left the stupid adorable baby dragons and went to the mists of Honah Lee in search of the dragon who first taught me life sucks: Puff, the Magic (redundant!) Dragon. When I arrived, I found that, apparently, Puff no longer lives in Honah Lee, but in a van in Venice Beach, CA. So, I headed back home to Los Angeles and found Puff passing out flyers about the benefits of medicinal marijuana.
Amanda: So, Puff; first of all, I am a HUGE fan.
Puff: You know man, I get that all the time, but seriously, we’re all one. I’m a fan
Amanda: Wow, you’ve gotten annoying, so let’s skip the BS and you can tell me
about life after the fame of the Peter, Paul and Mary song, and the
whole TV movie thing.
Puff: Well, I mean, being famous is awesome, and being animated… is trippy,
man. But I had major issues. I struggled with depression after Jackie Paper
grew up. I cried in my cave for a few years, my green scales LITERALLY
falling like rain, until a friend of mine recommended medicinal marijuana for
Amanda: What did you do after that?
Puff: I followed Pink Floyd for a while, and then I decided to move somewhere
that people appreciate the medicinal benefits of weed.
Amanda: So, you smoke medicinal marijuana, but Peter, Paul and Mary
repeatedly denied the song has any association with drugs? They were
totally lying, right?
Puff: No, man. Pure coincidence.
[Puff winks at me.]
Amanda: Did you just wink at me?
Puff: You’re killin’ my buzz, man. This interview is over.
[He totally winked at me, but whatever.]
I decided dragons were too difficult to interview and headed home, but not before Falkor, the luck dragon, found me and begged for an interview.
Falkor: I’m the cutest dragon of all time!
Amanda: You may call yourself a “Luck Dragon,” but clearly, you are a giant,
ADORABLE, flying dog.
Falkor: Ask, Atreyu! I’m a dragon!
Amanda: Nice try, but Atreyu is a character in Neverending Story played by
Noah Hathaway. Sorry, but you’d kill my credibility as a journalist.
I did stay and rub Falkor’s belly for a while though, because he is REALLY cute.