BONJOUR STAR WARS!
Lyrics by Erika Cervantes
(A Parody of “Belle” from Beauty and the Beast)
Help me, Obi-Wan, you’re my only hope…
I’ve said it before, but not in song…
They’re too short to be Stormtroopers. Is this some Imperial plot….?
(Darth Vader Force-chokes him mid-welcome)
There goes Darth Vader, he’s Force-choking Mickey
Obi-Wan wants to train Mulan.
None of the Princesses have guns, their hair is not in buns.
I have a bad feeling about this!
Look there she is, that brazen, strange new princess
Does she have bagels in her hair?
Never misses any shots.
But her temper’s fiery hot.
No denying she’s a strange princess, that Leia.
I’ll help translate!
My name’s Mula-an.
Someone get this walking carpet outta my way!
Look there she goes, that girl is so peculiar.
I heard she kissed her brother once.
We didn’t know!
With a sword made out of light.
Seems that Yoda might be right.
He’s not like other shining knights, that Luke!
Jedi. I’m a Jedi. Like my father before me!
Ohhhh! Why are we all singing?
I’d much prefer a blaster fight!
Who is that ugly Ewok?
If he’s anything like Wicket, he probably bites…
Now, it’s no wonder she’s an angry princess….
…Daddy issues, she does have!
Daddy issues aren’t that weird, all the parents are dead here.
Not so different from the rest of us.
I’m nothing like the rest of you!
You’ve worn a metal bikini too!
And she looked damn hot in it.
Before Darth Vader froze me stiff in carbonite, she said, “I love you,” I said, “I know.”
‘Cause Lando sold me out. What the hell was that about?
You can keep your damn rebellion, Your Highness!
Look there he goes, an odd Prince Charming.
That roguish grin is disarming!
He’s so my type, my diamond in the rough.
Back off, that scruffy Nerf Herder is mine!
Maybe I could fit in here. My best friend IS an animal.
ARIEL / JASMINE / SNOW WHITE
Size matters not.
I have a very bad feeling about this.
I find your lack of faith disturbing.
isn’t at the helm!
LUKE / OBI-WAN
May the Force
be with you!
(in Fantasia outfit)
Look, I’m a wizard!
Help me, Obi-Wan, you’re my only hope!
(with Snow White on his arm)
Trust me, eventually, you’ll learn to cope!
Droids, mermaids, Jedi all living together
May the Force be with each one of us!
(still fawning over Han)
We can learn to co-exist…
If I rule with an iron fist!
‘Cause she really is a strange princess…
STAR WARS CHARACTERS
This really is a funny world…
DISNEY CHARACTERS / STAR WARS CHARACTERS
‘Cause she really is a strange princess / This really is a funny world…