Depending on who you ask, Breaking Bad may or may not be the best TV drama of all-time. But one thing’s for sure: if you’re planning on throwing a Breaking Bad marathon, make it the best effing marathon of all-time by following these simple steps, bitch.
1. Bake Cupcakes
No party is complete without cupcakes (duh) and there are plenty of recipes on Pinterest for making Breaking Bad cupcakes. Don’t stress out — you can always grab a store-bought mix and just sprinkle some blue rock sugar on top (aka Blue Sky meth crystals) and you’ll be good to go!
You’ll want to wrap and label as many objects and pieces of furniture in your house as you can, as pictured below:
3. Drinking Game
Take a shot every time Jesse Pinkman finishes a sentence with “bitch,” bitch.
Take a shot every time Marie wears something purple.
Take a shot every time Walt Jr. talks about breakfast.
…and everyone will be as fun as stoned Badger and Skinny Pete debating Star Trek!
Halfway through the marathon, you’re gonna need some fresh air. If you wanna be legit, you COULD drive all the way to your nearest desert in an RV, aka mobile meth lab, but if you don’t have the time/money/gas, you can always have a picnic…on a periodic table. Badum-chh!
5. To Catch a Marie!
Party game! Everyone contributes one valuable item into a punchbowl. Secretly draw straws to determine who is the “Marie” of the party. Sometime during the party, the Marie must steal one of the valuables, at which point, the rest of the party guests each get one chance to accuse, and with evidence and probable cause, ARREST and CONVICT the Marie! It’s like Clue, but with more shoplifting and less murder! Winner gets ALL THE VALUABLES in the punch. Or, an extra bottle of Schraderbrau.
6. Try Out Some Sweet Pick-Up Lines
Chemistry jokes will go over well with this crowd. Try these out on the sexy guy or gal next to ya on the couch, and you’ll get more action than Wendy the Meth-Head!
Need more? We’ve got a bunch here.
7. Shirtless Convenience Store Run
At this point, it’s time for another breather, and once you’ve finished Season 2, you can really jazz up the party with a lil shirtless convenience store run! Bonus points to anyone who convinces their family they were just in a fugue state!
8. Better Call Saul
Party game! Look up all the bus bench lawyers in your town and PRANK CALL THEM!
A few ideas:
- Say you need a vacuum cleaner repair
- Say you need to get your friend Badger out of jail
- Say you’d like him/her to be your Consigliere
- Say you need help laundering some money and you’re pondering buying a car wash or a lazer tag facility
- Say you have a serious problem with a Chicken Man
9. It’s All About the Minerals, Baby
Now would be a great time to bust out your rock collection…I mean, mineral collection! Excuse me. Pull a couple of icy cold Schraderbrau’s out of the cooler, and let your friends hold your minerals and help you categorize them. It’s oddly relaxing, and a good counterpoint to all the tension and anxiety provoked by hours of back-to-back Breaking Bad.
Party Game: Get this hat, and declare one of the party guests the “Heisenberg” for the day!
The Heisenberg gets to wear sunglasses indoors, justify every one of his unforgiveable actions as being committed in the name of his family, and any time s/he yells, “Say my name!” You have to SAY. HIS. NAME. Heisenberg. YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT.
…To all party guests who knock before they enter and yell, “I’M THE ONE WHO KNOCKS!” when you open the door!