Misadventures in Sexual Curiosity: Fetish Clubs


I mean, seriously.  There’s “black tie,” “business casual,” and “church appropriate,” but mom never told me what to wear for “BDSM erotica.”

I don’t own a lot of sexy club wear, or any lingerie to speak of.  I don’t even have matching bras and underwear and only own about three thongs.  I had the impression that the theatrics and costuming had a lot to do with the scene and I was that awkward kid with hand-me-downs on the first day of school.

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The night began famously with me tripping over the curtained doorway as the bouncer laughed at my lack of heel-wearing abilities.  Good start.  I then fumbled my way through thick, dry ice and onto the main dance area where groups of heavily gothed-out individuals emerged, bobbing to loud trance music.  This was far from my comfort zone of a gastropub in the valley or a whiskey bar in Silver Lake.

I saddled up to the leather-studded bar for a glass of liquid courage before entering the back room where the BDSM erotica show was held.  I might have just stayed there the whole night and chatted with the bartender like a cowardly loser if it wasn’t for the creepy 50-year-old man in thick eyeliner who started chatting me up.  So I went into the back room.

As fate would have it, this group was more like those magic playing, science-obsessed, oddly dressed kids in high school rather than the popular, judgmental, jock and cheerleader crowd.  It was an extremely warm, welcoming, and accepting group with people of all ages, walks of life and sexual preferences.  While the experience held the awkwardness of entering the friend circle of any tight-knit group (a tight-knit group that has sex with one another on a regular basis at that), they definitely did their best to make me feel at home.

It turns out pretty much any outfit is acceptable here, kind of like Walmart, only hot and less neon spandex.  And sure, you get more points for something sexy, and double points if it’s lingerie, but my mildly shortish skirt brought to you by the designers at Target fit in well enough.

The scenes mostly included spanking, flogging, whipping, and bondage in varying degrees of severity.   There is no nudity, penetration or fire play.  The scenes can get very intense, but they are far from scary or uncomfortable to watch.  Honestly, I found them fascinating and ridiculously hot.

In the end, the fetish club wasn’t any more intimidating than going to a party full of people you really didn’t know very well.

After the club, I was invited to the after party, but that story is for another day.  See?  Already learning to be a better tease.

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