James Cameron Directs Stoner Movies

James Cameron recently announced that he’d only create Avatar films for the rest of his career.

But today, James Cameron has changed his mind yet again.

In an exclusive statement, he told Comediva:

“I’m friggin’ rich. Why am I even trying anymore? I’m just gonna get high and make stoner movies for the rest of my career.”

Then he shared with us a preview of some of the stoner films he plans to direct in the near future:

Harold and Avatar Go to White Castle

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Kumar gets a heart attack and is rushed to the hospital. (Apparently, living off of a steady diet of White Castle hamburgers, licorice sticks and pot brownies your whole life isn’t good for your health.) But just as he’s about to die, he’s saved by Neil Patrick Harris — who for some reason has become a mad scientist a la Dr. Horrible. NPH transfers Kumar into an Avatar body and saves his life. Finally, NPH, Harold, and Avatar take a crazy pot adventure through America that ends with Harold and Avatar smoking a bong with First Lady Michelle Obama, and NPH riding a toruk into a rainbow vortex.

The Big Lebowski 2: Judgment Day

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The Dude, a lazy robot who wears jellies, is sent from a distant future to protect a kid who will one day lead an uprising against evil robots. But The Dude immediately blows off this responsibility and, instead, spends his time at a local bowling alley. But when another robot sent from the future steals his rug — a rug that really tied the room together — The Dude gets pissed off, arms himself with a shotgun, and chases the evil robot through Los Angeles until he kills him. But in order to save the human race, The Dude must destroy himself as well. So, he lowers himself into a vat of molting hot steel. As he dies, the last words on his lips are: “The Dude abides.”

Dude, Where’s My Titanic?

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The captain and first mate of the Titanic get high and then wake up the next day to find that their famous ship has dissapeared. Together they spend the entire movie trying to figure where the Titanic could have disappeared to. All along the way, they run into many colorful and unusual characters that now only exist in the history books, like a red-haired Kate Winslet, a non-scowling Leonardo DiCaprio, and a fully-employed Billy Zane.

Half-Baked Aliens

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In order to fend off an alien invasion, a couple of friends decide to sell weed to aliens in order to subdue them. But the aliens get so high that they develop a serious case of the munchies, which causes them to binge on sour cream and onion chips, beef jerky, peanut butter, Haagen-Dazs ice cream bars, chocolate, popcorn, graham crackers, little marshmallows, chocolate bars, celery, grape jelly, Captain Crunch (with the little crunch berries), two big pizzas with everything on them, water, a whole lot of water, Funyun’s, and human flesh.


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Ollin Morales

Ollin Morales is a fiction writer and professional blogger. His blog, Courage 2 Create, offers writing advice as well as strategies to deal with life's tough challenges. Courage 2 Create was named one of The Top Ten Blogs For Writers two years in a row (2011, 2012).

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