Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Misleading Disney Princesses

Disney... tisk, tisk, tisk.
Valerie Armstrong Created by  Valerie Armstrong  

Following the premiere of their first totally Latina Princess, Sofia, Disney has continued in their ardent quest to diversify their League of Princesses with the unveiling of Bertha, the first plus-sized Princess in Disney history. However, following the company's press release that included the first sketch of Bertha (see below), there has been a certain amount of blowback from the same picky critics who harped on Sofia's pale complexion and total absence of Latina features, claiming that Bertha isn't "shapely enough."

In response, Disney argued that Bertha may not look it, but is plus-sized "because they said so." Her weight isn't outright addressed in her new film, Bertha and the Confusing Mysteries of Math and Science, but her character is indeed written as chubby, so she is, regardless of appearance. Disney goes on to say that "seeing as Bertha is the first princess to have both a high neckline and a fat-girl name, this is absolutely a step in the right direction. Really, it is, just don't think too hard about it."

It's since been rumored that Disney also has their first Lesbian Princess, Kat, waiting in the wings. In her upcoming film, Kat secretly pines for her best girl friend, but never speaks of, acts upon, or indicates it, and marries a dude at the end anyways. Progress (Disney insists).

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Valerie Armstrong

Valerie is Comediva's current intern extraordinaire where she researches things and sits at the front desk like a boss. A semi-young East Coast transplant, she moved to LA eighteen months ago with a car that saw the millennium, a couch to stay on for a week and two friends in the city. She now boasts the same car, a month-to-month lease, and a whopping five friends in the city. She has a thing for pasty, red-headed boys (lookin' at you Louis C.K.), television, and canned frosting--of which, only one can be considered acceptable in Los Angeles.

Back East, she has an over-achieving yet horribly-lovable big brother at Yale, and the sweetest parents imaginable, as they never complain that she's not at Yale. As a writer, she dreams of the day she sells something and tells her brother to suck it (and then with great apology, takes it back immediately).

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