Child: How come the girls in movies don’t have a baby when they do it?
Grown-up: Um … well, it’s fake. Or they use a condom.
Child: What’s a condom?
Grown-up: It’s … like a barrier … between the boy and the girl … that prevents them from getting pregnant.
2. Family Planning
Child: What do people do when they don’t wanna have a baby yet?
Grown-up: Family planning.
3. Evil Agenda
Grown-up: That guy’s plan is evil. He has an evil agenda.
Child: What’s flirting?
Grown-up: It’s when a guy and a chick like each other, so they send each other signals so the other person knows.
Child: But what if a chick like-likes another chick?
Child: …I dunno … just wondering…
Grown-up: …Well, then they’re lesbians.
Grown-up: Man, that guy is a flamer. So flamboyant.
Child: …OH NO!
Child: What’s ‘embarrassed’?
Grown-up: When you’re caught with your pants down. Get it? ’Bare’ and ‘a–’
Grown-up 2: DON’T SAY THAT WORD AROUND HER.”
Grown-up: Tom Cruise is a crazy Scientologist. Did you see what he did on Oprah?