Reminder: White Women in War Bonnets

Hey, Kitten Mittens. I’d like to take a moment out of my blessed day to remind you of the sins you might be committing (#NotAllMen!!!) against other various nouns that you share this earth with.

With that, today’s reminder is:

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While they may look fly as hell, Native American war bonnets are not for you, fashion girls!

It’s not even for Cher!

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If it’s not okay for Cher, it is most certainly out of the question for you. If you want to take a cue from Cher, then here’s a bonus daily reminder that upper thigh slits are the next big thing.

“But how could something so cute be racist? ”

Well, the simple thing is, cute things can be racist. Even Skinheads were chubby babies once.

“Okay, then WHY is it racist?”

For a few reasons, but the short version is:

1. A non-Native American wearing a war bonnet promotes stereotyping of another culture.

Like when Julianne Hough wears blackface or Macklemore wears Jewishnose.

2. War bonnets are sacred to Native Americans.

So even though EDC is a religious experience for you, it is extremely disrespectful to wear a neon headdress while you dance in a bikini rolling balls on molly. In fact, as a woman you def shouldn’t be wearing a war bonnet. Traditionally, only male chiefs and warriors were/are allowed to wear them.

“Only MALE chiefs and warriors?! Daraaa, why won’t you let me dismantle the patriarchyyy???”

Nuh-uh! Don’t you- don’t you dare! We have bigger fish to fry, this is not our problem!

Listen, ladies, no one is trying to take your flower crowns from you! Those are all yours and we won’t even make fun of you for wearing them (as long as it’s your wedding). So just stop wearing war bonnets since it offends an entire culture of people–even though that culture is very small in size. Because our ancestors killed them and took their land. And forced them into widespread poverty. And then named a professional sports team after a racial slur against them….

Just stop being jerks and let them have this! You do not deserve to make this your own!!!

“Okay, I think I get it now.”

What a relief.

“Oh, on a related note, can I dress up as Pocahontas for Halloween this year?”

No!!!

 


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About the author

My name’s Dara, and I’m a comedic actor and writer. I write about everything (dating, things I find annoying [which is a lot of things], food, reality Housewives from all walks of life), and I can tell you that if you really like brunch, you will probably enjoy half-reading my blog while you watch Ice Loves Coco (btw, that’s another thing I write about a lot). I know this because if you appreciate brunch and believe in its ideals of unapologetic fancy-shmancy-ness, the right to order pancakes even if you don’t get out of bed til noon, and judgement-free drinking of champagne before 3pm… then you might like the blog written by someone who also believes in those things. See Dara's blog at: http://brunchforeverymeal.com

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