What Kind of Weed Are You?

A stoner may wonder, “If I were weed, would I be a happy, high sativa or a super stoney indica?”  In honor of 420, we’ve come up with a quiz to help you figure out which strain of weed you are.

1. Personality-wise, you…

a) …look strong, act strong, feel strong, last long.

b) …are laid-back and really fun to hang out with.

c) …are a lady in the street, but a freak in the bed.

d) …are the unsuspecting David to Goliath.

2. For fun, you…

a) …enjoy hammocks.

b) …love listening to music.

c) …like to freestyle rap.

d) …get into existential talks about God.

3. People might say you smell like…

a) …a skunk in a pine forest.

b) …ginger lemon tea.

c) …a mildly spiced honey tea.

d) …overripe fruit or an unusual cheese.

4. If you were in a death match, you’d incapacitate your opponent by…

a) …paralyzing them with nerve serum.

b) …sending them into fits with mustard gas.

c) …tricking them with optical illusions, then taking them out with a judo chop.

d) …mindfucking them.

5. You make people…

a) …really tired.

b) …really happy.

c) …nostalgic for the 90s.

d) …feel totally awestruck.

6. If you were another drug, you’d be…

a) …horse tranquilizers.

b) …whippits.

c) …coke and whiskey.

d) …heroin.

Scroll down for results!

Mostly As: Afghani Goo

afghanigoo4202012

Source: GanjaGourmet.com

This very potent indica gives a strong, heavy body high.  It’s got a strong skunk smell and a skunk taste with touches of pine and wood.  The buzz comes on strong and lasts long.  Get ready for a night in, because you’re gonna have a major case of couch lock.

As a person, there’s not much mystery to you: you’re straight-forward, bulky, and lethargic.  You’d be a good linebacker if you ever had the motivation to get off your ass and play a sport.  Maybe try a cup of coffee sometime.

Mostly Bs: OG Kush

ogkush4202012

Source: laist.com

This popular sativa has a medium buzz length and creeps up on you slowly.  After a bout of coughing brought on by its copious crystals, you find yourself floating into a happy euphoria.  It won’t put you to sleep like Afghani Goo, but it will make you very glad to sit around and listen to music for hours.

As a person, you’re a happy-go-lucky dreamer type, inclined toward the arts, but with a short attention span.  You’re fun to be around and never a downer, though it’s hard to get you to focus on “serious” things.  People tell you to get a job a lot.  But they don’t understand poetry.

Mostly Cs: Chronic

chronic4202012

This classic cannabis used to be mostly indica, but was improved with sativa in 2000.  It’s renowned for its potency, paired with its subtle wildflower aroma.  The mild flavor belies it’s “punch in the face” immediate buzz, which was quite in vogue in the 90s, but has since been replaced by more tasty varieties such as OG Kush.  The heavy indica high blends evenly with an uplifting sativa heady high, making Chronic an oldie but a goodie.  Why else would Dr. Dre name an album after it?

As a person, you’re a well-liked thirty-something who charms inoffensively in public but lays the cards on the table in private.  Romantically, you know how to blend just enough conversation before putting on the moves, too.  You’re kind of old school, but it totally works for you.  Rock it!

Mostly Ds: Alaskan Thunderfuck

thunderfuck4202012

Alaskan Thunderfuck!  This sativa surprises everyone with its incredible potency and longlasting high.  While most expect a sativa to give a nice heady buzz, Alaskan Thunderfuck knocks your socks off.  It will stone you off your ass for hours and help you transcend halfway to Nirvana.  It also has the best name ever.

As a person, you are small in stature and generally unassuming, but when shit hits the fan you show up big time.  You’re the nice, non-bulky dude who kicks ass in a barfight, or the cute chick who suddenly blows everyone away with your crazy genius. No one sees you coming.

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