Did your dog eat your Hunger Games Cliffsnotes? Did you forget your 50 Shades of Grey SparkNotes? Here’re 10 books in 140 characters or less!
1. The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe
SPOILER ALERT: Nothing to do with gay agenda, despite sassy queen / lots of going-in and coming-out of closets. 🙁
2. Jane Eyre
Jane is all like, “You married?” and Mr. Rochester is like, “Bitch, I might be.” ** He is. To a madwoman.
** Actual Victorian commentary may vary.
3. Little Women
Stopped reading once I realized Laurie was a boy. It was like re-living Anne and Ellen all over again.
4. To Kill a Mockingbird
Not a how-to guide, like the title suggests.
5. 50 Shades of Grey
No.
6. Twilight
Edward totes wants to eat Bella. She’s not worried because, you guys, he’s super cute and sparkly. But Jacob, ugh.
7. The Notebook
Noah reads love story to his Alzheimer’s-stricken wife everyday. (Gina cries in fetal position because of all the feelings.)
8. Frankenstein
Frankenstein is the scientist, not the monster. The monster is classy; like uses-Grey-Poupon-instead-of-regular-mustard classy.
9. Gone With the Wind
Fun drinking game! Take a shot every time you think, “My dear, I don’t give a damn” to something Scarlett says. **
** Things I didn’t give a damn about in that last one: Word count.
10. The Hunger Games
Think The Notebook, but with lots of death and violence.
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