I have heard about and experienced firsthand the nightmare that is internet dating. It seems the internet is a breeding ground for perverts, douche bags, and mental pygmies. I would be remiss if I did not share these experiences with all of you Comedivas. Yes, these are real conversations.
A Star is Born! TimidTool: Is it still too early in the day to hit on a woman? MissAnthropic: I don't know. Is it too early for me to be drinking whiskey?
TimidTool: It might be. what brings ya to an online dating site?
MissAnthropic: I like to meet emotionally crippled men with weird sexual fetishes.
TimidTool: nice, hahaha
MissAnthropic: So, what's wrong with you? Let's get that out of the way right off the bat.
TimidTool: hmmm well i can be quite down on myself
MissAnthropic: Okay, low self-esteem. What else?
TimidTool: i am a great guy overall
MissAnthropic: That is what they all say.
TimidTool: oh really. Well I really am. Other than that I think io pretty go peson.
MissAnthropic: um..was that English?
TimidTool: yeah my grammer sucks, so sue me =P
MissAnthropic: That was more than just grammar.
TimidTool: I see, I am not saying my grammer is that bad. Do you prefer it if I type good grammer as well?
MissAnthropic: Yeah and spelling would be helpful too. "Grammar"
TimidTool: OkI am not saying I'm a dumbass
TimidTool: I will be honest. I'm a nice guy who needs to be more confident and realize he has more going for him then he realizes.
MissAnthropic: Like what?
TimidTool: Well I have a really big dick. I have never measured but have heard that I should be in movies.
MissAnthropic: Well, there goes your nice guy image. Ugh.
TimidTool: I am a nice guy and have a kot going for me. I also have a big dick do you nwant to see a picture?
MissAnthropic: I will pass on that, thanks. Good luck with your career in porn.
Candi Leigh is a writer from Las Vegas, NV who has published columns with RidersReview Magazine. Most days she can be found staring absently at her laptop screen or out drinking at the bar, pen and notebook tucked into her bag, unused. She is mostly just a mean-spirited individual that takes pleasure is being nasty to people (read: honest) and has somehow made a career out of it. Her hobbies include scaring small children, sexually harassing men, making phallic symbols out of found objects, offending old people and swearing like a sailor.