What Would Katniss Do for a Klondike Bar?

Product placement is a staple for every major Hollywood production. So what would happen if your favorite fictional characters were recruited as actual sponsors for your favorite products?

Don Draper – Viagra

SPONSORSdraper5162012 
Who better to make men feel okay about their erectile dysfunction than THE leading womanizer himself, Don Draper? If Don can do it, so can you.

Rory Williams5-Hour Energy

SPONSORSrory5162012 
Got that 2:30 feeling? Having trouble keeping up with your time lord friend? Need help keeping a sharper eye on your lady and said time lord? Just kick back a 5-Hour Energy!

Argus FilchUniversity of Phoenix

SPONSORSfilch5162012 
After years of trying and failing to reverse his squibness, Filch finally decided to lay down his caretaker duties in exchange for a brighter future.

John Bates & Anna SmithLegalZoom.com

SPONSORSdownton5162012 
Divorce can be a tricky business, especially when your wife’s a nutso, money-grubbing douche-nozzle. And that’s where the folks over at LegalZoom.com come in! But now you don’t have to wait for her to kick the bucket! Get rid of that hag and shack up with your new lady love with just a few clicks of the mouse! 

Katniss EverdeenKlondike

SPONSORSkatniss5162012
What would Katniss do for a Klondike bar? WHAT WOULDN’T KATNISS DO FOR A KLONDIKE BAR?

Ron Swanson
Lipitor

SPONSORSswanson5162012 
Bacon is the nectar of the gods. Lathered up in all that juicy, juicy goodness. So nectary, is it, that it even manifests in your arteries, refusing to let you go. So when you, too, find yourself in the tangles of forbidden, clogging love, be sure to keep the stress down and use protection: Lipitor.

Liz LemonMini Babybel Cheese

SPONSORSlemon5162012
She’s workin’ on her niiiiight cheeeeeeese [uh uh uh]. And her day cheese. And her afternoon cheese. And her Whatever, Whenever Cheese. Have you lizzed today?

Sansa StarkMooncup

SPONSORSsansa5162012
Period got you down? If you, like Sansa Stark, can’t afford to let people know about your monthly visitor because popping out the spawn of a sadistic boy-king just doesn’t fit in to your current lifestyle, hit up the closest CVS for your own set of menstrual cups! Slightly more tolerable cramps and, most importantly, no leaking: what happens in your uterus, stays in your uterus.


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About the author

Vickie Toro, Art by Emily McGregor

Valerie is Comediva's current intern extraordinaire where she researches things and sits at the front desk like a boss. A semi-young East Coast transplant, she moved to LA eighteen months ago with a car that saw the millennium, a couch to stay on for a week and two friends in the city. She now boasts the same car, a month-to-month lease, and a whopping five friends in the city. She has a thing for pasty, red-headed boys (lookin' at you Louis C.K.), television, and canned frosting--of which, only one can be considered acceptable in Los Angeles.

Back East, she has an over-achieving yet horribly-lovable big brother at Yale, and the sweetest parents imaginable, as they never complain that she's not at Yale. As a writer, she dreams of the day she sells something and tells her brother to suck it (and then with great apology, takes it back immediately).

View all articles by Vickie Toro, Art by Emily McGregor