Whatever Happened to Michael Cera?

It’s true, Michael Cera was ‘adorkable’ long before Zooey Deschanel cut her bangs and bombarded all the media.  But what happened to awkwardly endearing wee George Michael Bluth?  Don’t you yearn for the glorious heyday of Michael Cera?  Don’t you miss seeing his unassuming and oh-so-nonthreatening visage on television and in indie flicks?  

You know who definitely misses Michael Cera?  Michael Cera.  So, whatever happened to him?  

Here are the top 20 ways Michael Cera has [probably] been passing the time!

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20. Reading up on time travel.

19. Writing Arrested Development fan fiction wherein George Michael and Maeby get it on during one of Tobias’ Blue Man Group shows.

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18. Auditioning to be the face of Tim Horton’s.

17. Hitchhiking around Ontario while in character as ‘Oh’ from Year One; outrunning Mounties.

16. Trolling all the Jesse Eisenberg Facebook fan pages.

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15. Practicing his woodblock skills in case Dr. Fünke’s 100% Natural Good-Time Family Band Solution ever reunites.

14. Watching The Social Network on loop while crying into a pint of Ben and Jerry’s ‘Half Baked’ flavored fro-yo.

13. Fantasizing about a threesome with Alia Shawkat and Kat Dennings.

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12. Playing guitar and singing original songs, all of which can be described as “wistful.”

11. Getting uber-laid at Arrested Development fan forum meet-ups.

10. Making soulful mix cassette tapes with original album art for quirky starlet Charlyne Yi while in character as Scott Pilgrim. 

9. Grabbing coffee with Haley Joel Osment.

8. Still trying to make sense out of Youth in Revolt.

7. Working on a Superbad II screenplay working-titled: “Superduperbad.”

6. Looking up Christopher Mintz-Plasse’s agent.

5. Investing in Netflix stock.

4. Pitching a “Jessie Eisenberg” lookalike reality TV show to Bravo.

3. Acting out pivotal scenes from Juno with sock puppets in the bathroom of his studio apartment in Silver Lake, California.

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2. Braiding Ellen Page’s hair.

1. Embracing his Canadian roots by creating an original waffle topping called “Michael Cerup.”

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Speaking of which, what ever happened to Wishbone?


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About the author

Kristen Bobst

Kristen Bobst is a grade-A comedy writer, an unstoppable sock puppeteer, and the world's foremost whimsy aficionado. She certainly believes the meaning of life really is 42; and right now Kristen is really into The Carrie Diaries. Comediva. Where the funny girls are.

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5 comments

  1. James Scholes

    I can’t do with him… Find him as a wet-sap.

    He always plays the same guy as well.

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