The Preppercorn
The Preppercorn loves all things preppy. From sweater vests to jaunty ascots tied around her horn, this sophisticated unicorn has perfected the look of affluence-with-attitude. Need outfit ideas for next week’s croquet party? Just look to the Preppercorn; she’ll be happy to lend you her Ralph Lauren argyle sweater.
Little known fact: The Ralph Lauren logo is actually a polo player riding a unicorn.
The Unicottoncandycorn
Love ruffles and everything pink? You’re a Unicottoncandycorn, a glorious beast who exudes femininity without sacrificing unicornity. Feeling a bit drab? Boy problems? Call up a Unicottoncandycorn and she’ll be right over, bedazzled horn and all, to braid your hair and discuss stallion troubles.
The Gothicorn
Do you write somber non-rhyming poetry? In the dark? While listening to Nine Inch Nails? While applying globs of black eyeliner? Does no one understand you, goddamnit!? Guess what? The Gothicorn does!
She knows your deep sorrowful torment. She knows it like the back of her black-lacquered hoof. She sees through the lies of all the other phony-ponies. She hated high school, too! You guys can share Zoloft, swap facial piercings, and discuss the meaninglessness of everything. “Life is pain” after all!
The Couturacorn
Are you too sexy? Too sexy for Milan, New York, and Japan? You’re a devout Neiman-Marcus-credit-card-carrying Couturacorn, you stylish gal! Pricey fashions, coveted labels, and high heels are just the things for you. You rock that Prada frock like a runway model. But the Couturacorn’s got something those models lack: a Harry Winston encrusted horn and a whole lotta attitude.
Let’s face it. You belong on the catwalk, yeah, on the catwalk, yeah…
The Spandexicorn
Do you live for the burn? Are sweatbands your favorite accessory? Are you on an elliptical machine right now? Then you’ve found a kindred spirit in the Spandexicorn. The Spandexicorn is the ultimate feminine athlete. She combines style and fitness; just check out those four rock hard calves. Together, you ladies can jazzercise to the moons of Saturn and back sweating glitter and drinking lemon-lime Unicornade.
What type of unicorn are you? Wear it loud and proud with a t-shirt from the Comediva store!
