Monday, December 24, 2012

Why Jesus Would Make a Good Boyfriend

Happy Birthday, Jesus. Wanna go on a date?  
Deborah S. Craig Created by  Deborah S. Craig  
I think Jesus would make a good boyfriend. Here's why.

He is literally the life of the party.

wine_072412
He can turn water into wine. Voila! Party anytime, anywhere. Yah Jesus!


He is gifted in every way.

happyjesus_072412
So he really must be "gifted" in every way.


He has a bunch of dude disciples, most of whom are single!

disciples_072412
All your girlfriends wanna hang out with you too! Jesus makes you popular!


He doesn't judge, so you can forget your slutty past!

jesus_asian_072412
 Jesus gives you a free pass! Even you.


Lots of Favors

funnytampon_072412
If Moses can part the red sea, just imagine what your boyfriend
 Jesus Christ could do!  Menstruation? Fuhgeddaboudit.

He's Famous!

jesuschristsuperstar_072412
There is a Broadway musical that is literally [Your boyfriend] Superstar!


Basically Coachella is happening all the time with your boyfriend.

wwjsmoke_072412
Gatherings, happenings, dancing, wine -- I don't know if Jesus is 420 friendly, but God made it (his Dad) so yah,
 Jesus is probably a burner.

Christmas!

blackjesus2_072412
Best Christmas Party every year! Party rockers in the house tonight! Forget Pippa Middleton, YOU are the THE party with your rockin' Jesus boyfriend*!


*He will die though, so he's a really only a good boyfriend in his twenties!

Around the Interwebs

Share:

Leave a comment

Be relevant, be respectful, don't spam us, and remember, it's comedy!

Deborah S. Craig

Deborah S. Craig (CEO Happy Panda Productions) is a writer, producer, director and award winning actress. Her work has been featured on the homepage of Funnyordie.com where she is IMMORTAL, on HuffPo, Buzzfeed.com, TheBlush.com, ChannelAPA.com, IamKoream.com, and Autostraddle.com. She has guest offended for YOMYOMF.COM and written for Comediva.com where she is a channel partner. As an actress, Ms. Craig is best known for originating the role of Marcy Park on Broadway in the Tony Award-winning musical The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee and for playing Shelley Ng on the CW’s “Hart of Dixie.” 

 

Website: www.deborahscraig.com
   
  • 5 Celebrity Sex Tapes That Changed History +

    You may judge, but celebrities have been influencing our culture in ways you couldn't have ever imagined!  Here are five More ≫
  • Daily Mancandy: Bucket +

    The ironic-hot-man post is here and it's bringing you your daily mancandy! Delish!  More ≫
  • Daily Mancandy: Natural Beauty +

    The ironic-hot-man post is here and it's bringing you your daily mancandy! Delish!  More ≫
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • A Holly Jolly Threesome With the Clauses! +

    Looking to get a little extra special something in your stocking this year?   More ≫
  • Betty's Irish Soda Bread +

    A critically acclaimed Irish Soda Bread recipe for St. Paddy's Day!  More ≫
  • Office Holiday Party Do's and Don'ts +

    Party how-to's to survive even the most high-profile holiday shindig.   More ≫
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • Why Jesus Would Make a Good Boyfriend +

    Happy Birthday, Jesus. Wanna go on a date?   More ≫
  • Black Romney - Binders Full O B*tches +

    When politics and rap collide. [NSFW] More ≫
  • 1-555-LIVE-LYNX +

    Call now and meet a real live "Lynx" like me. More ≫
  • Yoga for Black People +

    Yoga is for everyone; not just white people. Yoga is for black people too. More ≫
  • 1


PeerPressureBanner2
May is here!
Your face.

Log In

x We want to put our giggles in your inbox. Would you be into that?  Sign up for the GiggleBomb!
You are now being logged in using your Facebook credentials