Tuesday, October 02, 2012

Casual Vacancy for Potterheads

For the J.K. Rowling  fan who fears change.
Kristen Bobst Created by  Kristen Bobst  

J.K. Rowling's new novel Casual Vacancy recently hit the shelves. Alas, the reviews aren't entirely magical.  We've come up with a few ways to make the experience more comfortable for hardcore Potterheads who are unsettled by this particular portion of Rowling's oeuvre. 

CasualVacancy100112

Understand that Barry Fairbrother is Albus Dumbledore's second cousin. 

Dumbledore10112

Instead of a local election for parish councilman, know that it's really the secret election for Minister of Magic. Gotta keep those muggles in the dark, after all. 

MagicMinister10112

Magic wands have been transfigured into cell phones. 

HarryPotterWands10112

Subtext: Nagini killed Barry Fairbrother.

NaginiHP10112

Picture all cars as blue Ford Anglias in flight.

Cross out swearwords and write in spells.  Pronounce them appropriately. 


Draw house-elves in the margins.

dobbies100212
Pagford and Hogsmeade are sister cities. Probably.

Hogsmeade10112

 Obviously, "The Fields" is basically Little Hangleton.

LittleHangletonHP100112

Know that heroin addiction is a thinly veiled reference for Bertie Bott's Every Flavour bean dependency.

HPBertieBotts10112

Picture all Weedons as various members of the Lestrange family.

Social work is a decent occupation for squibs. Seems legit. 

HPFilch100112

Know that the title was shortened from Harry Potter and the Unexpected Aneurysm.

HarryPotter100112

*** 
Got Hogwarts on the mind? Check out these Harry Potter Pick-Up Lines! 

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Kristen Bobst

Kristen Bobst is a grade-A comedy writer, an unstoppable sock puppeteer, and the world's foremost whimsy aficionado. She certainly believes the meaning of life really is 42; and right now Kristen is really into The Carrie Diaries. 

Comediva. Where the funny girls are.

Website: www.kristeno.com/

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